Do you know how damn frustrating it is when after 5 hours in bed….sleep is still elusive. It started last night so had to knock myself out with sleeping tablet plus my emergency antipsychotic medication. So I thought, ok one bad night I will be fine. But no, tonight it is worse. Up and down in and out of bed for hours on end. Extra medications taken to no avail.
This means my mood has definitely taken a change for the worst. If I don’t nip it in the bud as soon as possible well then it’s a downhill slide.
I don’t want to play this game anymore. I have been well for months now, and my next challenging or danger period isn’t expected till March with the change of season…autumn here in Australia.
So here I am At 2am sitting on the couch venting my frustrations. I think I need to stop watching the bush fire crisis unfold on the television as it’s obviously starting to affect my mental health.
It’s just so exhausting having to monitor my behaviour on a daily basis. I had planned on taking my mum to the beach to lazy in the sun and swim, then have fish n chips somewhere….but no, that won’t happen because I will be exhausted and probably end up sleeping all day……I won’t let it beat me though, I will continue carrying on strong and fight ever way.