Am I Ok???

I find myself asking this question each and everyday. And it’s exhausting….I have forgotten what it feels like to get up each morning and just get on with my day.

When you have bipolar you are forever critical of your behaviour, trying to tune in with your body and mind and asking yourself….how am I today….is there a change in my mood, what challengers will I face today.

Some days upon waking there is a foreboding feeling of anxiety, luckily this only lasts for a minute or two.

Other days you feel quite flat and start to wonder if you may be heading to a depressive state.

Forever wondering and questioning your behaviour is extremely frustrating.

Unfortunately the above is required to stay in tune with yourself and nip any extreme possible changes in your mood quickly to alleviate a full blown manic or depressive episode.

Am I ok I ask myself…..of course I am…..then I can get along on my day.

Published by Melissa Mackay

Bipolar is an important topic for me as I have travelled through the highs and lows of this particular mental illness for just over 25 years now. Follow my journey from the past to present and hopefully some of you out there may gain some inspiration and come to the realisation....that it can be a positive and rewarding experience once you have learnt the tools of the trade...and enable you, or someone special in your life, to have a fruitful and rewarding life.

2 thoughts on “Am I Ok???

  1. Great post. I agree it is exhausting. And it’s not fun. I’m supposed to eat healthy, avoiding sugar and alcohol and caffeine and processed foods (I actually had a nurse tell me I should do a raw diet….I think I’d rather die!) and exercise and get plenty of sleep and keep a journal and take my medication and it goes on and on and on. Meanwhile I am raising a teenager, working, keeping the house, running errands and all I want to do is lie in bed all day under the covers! Bipolar and I’m sure other illnesses, is just overwhelming and I’ve been at this gig 11 years now! When do I get my vacation?


  2. I take my hat off to all you mums dealing with any form of mental illness, dealing with kids, partners, running a household, plus working. Don’t know how you manage. I just have to look after myself and that’s a handful in itself. I chose not to have kids 25 years ago with my undiagnosed bipolar. I couldn’t have managed. Dealing with partners whom never wanted to grow up and take responsibility for there actions was a minefield. I am happy living alone without added pressures. Do I miss not having my own family, absolutely….but I know I made the right choice. So many people I know are now either single mums or dads struggling in there own way whilst bringing up children, and that without any illnesses to deal with. Life is not a bed or roses which ever path you chose. It’s all about trying your best to deal with the cards that are dealt.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: